Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.[1][2] The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'. The concept and benefits of forgiveness have been explored inreligious thought, the social sciences and medicine. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In some contexts, forgiveness may be granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is incommunicado or dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, apology or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe himself able to forgive.[1]
Most world religions include teachings on the nature of forgiveness, and many of these teachings provide an underlying basis for many varying modern day traditions and practices of forgiveness. Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness of one another, yet others make little or no distinction between human and divine forgiveness.
[Secondary Research // Quantitative Research]
[Source // Wikipedia]
Guidelines for writing a letter asking for forgiveness
Take responsibility for your part, how you hurt the other person, rather than give any attention to how they hurt you. In fact, if you haven't expressed your own hurt, this may need to be the first letter. However, for healing to be complete, you eventually need to take full responsibility for your own actions, or even thoughts.
- Be vulnerable. Reveal your own sadness or remorse for causing them pain.
- Let them know you are not asking them to respond in any way. You are doing this for yourself, not to get forgiven by them. If they write back, it needs to clearly be their own choice.
- If you can, include some appreciation for this person. Look at who they are rather than the painful interaction with you.
- Write the letter with the choice of not sending it. Asking for forgiveness is, after all, a very personal and inner process.
- Share the letter with someone you trust, and get their feedback. If it feels right, send the letter.
1. Think about what happened and what it is you are sorry for doing.
2. Write down your apology; this will help you organize your thoughts and calm your nerves.
3. Practice what you plan to say until you feel comfortable
4. State clearly what it is you are sorry for doing.
2. Write down your apology; this will help you organize your thoughts and calm your nerves.
3. Practice what you plan to say until you feel comfortable
with it.
4. State clearly what it is you are sorry for doing.
5. Acknowledge your actions without making excuses.
6. Share your feelings about what happened - avoid blaming, exaggerating or saying empty words.
7. Offer to make amends if appropriate.
8. Listen to the other person's response without getting defensive.
8. Listen to the other person's response without getting defensive.
9. Move on. Once you've apologized, let it go.
[Secondary Resarch // Quantitative Research]
[Source // E-How]
How to ask for forgiveness
Knowing how to ask for forgiveness is important to help you restore your relationship and carry on your life peacefully together. When there is a conflict between the two of you, both of you would have been hurt, and both of you need to understand that you two played a part in the conflict.
When trying to ask for forgiveness, you would need to be humble about it as you try to amend your mistakes and improve yourself. It is possible that being impulsive or being uncaring could have caused the break down in your relationship, and you would need to admit that fact. Keeping your pride and not giving in to your partner would not help in patching things up between you two.
Do not worry that you have made a mistake because nobody is perfect. Making mistakes is expected for everyone, particularly when emotions get in the way and your mind is unable to think logically and clearly. It may result in you doing something you have not intended to and you might regret your actions after you finally calm down. The important thing is what you do when you have made the mistake and whether you regret such an action.
If you were the one on the receiving end of your partner's rage, do keep your calm so that you may se your situation clearer. Just as how your mind would think rashly and say things you never intended, your partner would have said things in a fit of rage as well and come to regret those words later. Being forgiving gives your partner a chance to change for the better and have the courage to ask for forgiveness as well.
Knowing how to ask your partner for forgiveness would also require you to know how to forgive. If your partner is one who made a mistake, for example, and you were badly hurt, would you be able to forgive your partner so easily? In what way would you be willing to forgive your partner? Imagine you are your partner who is asking for forgiveness and think about how your partner would react instead.
When asking for forgiveness, also remember that you need to be humble. You will need to set aside your pride just for this once and accept and harsh criticisms and embarrassing situations that may be thrown at you. It would be difficult to do it but if you do find great difficulties, you could try asking for help from others. Your family and friends would have experienced such embarrassing situations as well and could advice you on how to form your words and how to get courage.
Knowing the important of being humble and confessing to a mistake that would be yours, regardless how big a role you played in the conflict can be a very difficult thing but an honourable thing that display your passion for your relationship. Remember that the reason you are admitting your mistakes is because you want to repair your relationship and it will be worthwhile because that person is your loved one.
[Secondary Research // Quantitative Research]
[Article Source // Ezine Articles]
[Secondary Research // Quantitative Research]
[Article Source // Ezine Articles]
Leave your comment